The Question of Choosing Our Family
This question exists mainly within Latter-day Saint culture because most Christians do not believe in a premortal life.
What Latter-day Saints Know About Premortal Life
Revealed doctrine teaches
We lived with God before birth
We exercised agency
We accepted God’s plan
Some were foreordained to roles
Brigham Young taught that mortal comprehension is limited; Joseph Smith taught spirits are eternal.
What Is NOT Revealed
There is no doctrine stating that spirits:
Chose parents
Chose spouses
Selected earthly families
Such ideas appear in culture, not revelation.
Official Church Guidance
The June 2016 New Era explains:
We do not know whether spirits selected families
Scripture does not teach it
Revelation does not confirm it
Only foreordination to callings is doctrinally attested
Therefore, the idea should not be taught as doctrine.
Why the Idea Persists
1. Premortal Life Doctrine
People naturally wonder about premortal relationships.
2. Fictional Works (e.g., Saturday’s Warrior)
These shaped culture but not doctrine.
3. Anecdotal Accounts (e.g., Mosiah Hancock)
These are:
Not revelations
Not contemporaneous
Expanded over time
Doctrinally unreliable
Pastoral Problems With the Teaching
Claiming “you chose your abusive parents” can:
Harm individuals
Cause spiritual confusion
Misrepresent God’s justice
This is why leaders discourage teaching it.
The Soulmate Question
Leaders repeatedly teach:
There is no predestined soulmate
Many individuals could form a righteous eternal marriage
Final Conclusion
Do Latter-day Saints choose their earthly families?
No.
Revelation does not teach this.
Culture speculates; doctrine does not.
We know only that we chose God’s plan and exercised agency before birth.
Listen to the full podcast here:
https://www.youtube.com/@standardoftruthpodcastllc